Dear Abuser
While writing my book, I felt a profound sense of peace, as if I had finally expressed my whole story—not just to my Abuser but also to those close to me.
As I approached the end, I pondered how to conclude an evolving narrative, realising that it felt more like an exclamation mark than an ending.
During this time, I watched a documentary on Larry Nassar, who abused over 300 women and girls. I was moved by the 150 survivors who shared their Victim Impact statements, a powerful reclaiming of their voices.
My investigation never reached a trial; I would not get to share a Victim impact statement. This brought me some peace, given my discomfort with the label of "victim." Still, I recognised that only 1% of Survivors who come forward from the 10% that do proceed from an investigation into the courtroom would have the chance to confront their Abuser in this way.
This sparked my desire to write a Survivor Impact Statement for myself and my peers, whose stories I carry alongside my own.
Dear Abuser,
Standing at the crossroads of my existence, I trace the Map of my journey, marked by the scars you left behind. Each wound shapes my perception of the world, and I have emerged, ready to share my truth.
Shame once chained me in isolation, echoing the unworthiness you projected onto me. But that shame was never mine; it is yours to bear. During my darkest moments, I yearned for death, not because I wanted to leave life but to escape the pain caused by you. Now, I dismantle that illusion of inadequacy and reclaim the flame of courage that refuses to be extinguished.
I have shed the Mask of doubt you imposed and refuse to hide any longer. The acts of a grown man who wielded power over a child are despicable. No longer cowering in silence, I reclaim my voice, emerging as a vibrant mosaic of my being.
I will not allow your violence to define me. While I do not excuse the pain you inflicted, I honour the resilience I have conjured from these experiences. Through the eyes of those who love me, I see a tapestry woven from my struggles and triumphs, a reminder of my intrinsic worth.
It is heartbreaking that those we trust exploit family bonds. Shame on you for betraying us all. As I open my heart to love, I wonder—do you know its warmth? I stand tall and proud of my choices, while your actions highlight inadequacies.
I refuse to be a victim; I choose to model resilience and strength for my children, showing them that trauma can heal and be left in the past. I stride through my history unburned while you remain engulfed in your inadequacy.
I invite you to confront my reflection—a reminder of the strength you sought to extinguish. These actions must be brought out of the shadows and into the light to foster change for future generations. If my story is a catalyst for the voices of many, then I am no longer a piece of your puzzle; you are now just a small part of mine.
With strength from all the parts of me that need to be heard, Survivor
Presale purchases are available for the book here.
The first 100 to purchase will be invited to a Story Telling event in Jan 2025.
https://www.bespeak.au/the-courage-to-speak-your-truth